Things have been tough the past few days! My relationship with James has come to an end, (once again) and while trying to work through all the emotions involved with that loss, I've been watching my friend's 5 kids so she can take a vacation. It's been a struggle! However, this morning I woke up and had a touch of the Christmas spirit in my heart. Even though I may never see or hear from him again, I wanted James to know how much I love and appreciate him, and an idea came to mind. I spent the next several hours preparing the gift. Since he doesn't have a Christmas tree I decided that he could use a little holiday cheer in his home, so I purchased a small tree and decorated it with lights, a star, garland and with 9 ornaments that represent 12 of the reasons I love him so much. I wrote 12 cards so that he'll open one card a day for the next 12 days and read about each of the decorations on the tree. For example: a snowflake, because he always makes me feel uniquely special and beautiful like each tiny snowflake. I also bought 3 gifts for him to open on Christmas day. I took it to his house and left it on his porch. I don't know if he even got it, but I hope it will make him feel loved!
When I returned home, I sat down on the couch and started to cry, because I realized, that may be the last gift I ever give to James. It breaks my heart! I decided to watch the First Presidency Christmas Devotional and was really hoping to gain some peace and comfort and feel some love. It was a beautiful meeting, and it did warm my heart. A little while later, I noticed that there was an envelope addressed to me on the counter. I couldn't tell who it was from, the return address was bogus, and I opened it up to find a wonderful surprise. There was a beautiful Christmas card with the word Believe printed on the front. It instantly made me think that I need to have faith and believe that all will be well for the girls and I. I opened up the card and inside were three gift cards. The inscription told the girls and I to have a Merry Christmas and to use the gift cards to add some holiday cheer to our lives. Obviously someone else had felt a touch of the Christmas spirit as well, and to whomever that was, I am so grateful! It touched my heart!
When I returned home, I sat down on the couch and started to cry, because I realized, that may be the last gift I ever give to James. It breaks my heart! I decided to watch the First Presidency Christmas Devotional and was really hoping to gain some peace and comfort and feel some love. It was a beautiful meeting, and it did warm my heart. A little while later, I noticed that there was an envelope addressed to me on the counter. I couldn't tell who it was from, the return address was bogus, and I opened it up to find a wonderful surprise. There was a beautiful Christmas card with the word Believe printed on the front. It instantly made me think that I need to have faith and believe that all will be well for the girls and I. I opened up the card and inside were three gift cards. The inscription told the girls and I to have a Merry Christmas and to use the gift cards to add some holiday cheer to our lives. Obviously someone else had felt a touch of the Christmas spirit as well, and to whomever that was, I am so grateful! It touched my heart!
Don't know details, and I don't have a crystal ball but I DO know that you and the girls will be alright. All WILL be well. Just be happy and be grateful you have the girls and that you are taken care of. I know how much it sucks but I also know that someday you (and I) will be happy and will be grateful that things didn't turn out the way we had wanted;) Hang in there, you're in my prayers!
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