Single life post divorce

I know, I know, I'm a pro, right? Done it twice, haha.

The first time around I was actually quite excited about being single after my divorce. I figured there would be a wide selection of charming, handsome, intelligent, wonderful guys to choose from, and that dating again might be a fun adventure. Maybe I should have checked out the selection before I signed up! I'm extremely picky, I admit, so finding what I was looking for turned out to be a lot more difficult than I initially thought it would be. Where does a single mother of 2 two-year-olds go to meet these fantastic guys, the ones I had conjured up in my mind? I must have been delusional..why was I thinking there would be a lot of great guys available, and why would I assume that these hawt, awesome guys would want a thirty-something year old with kids, when they had their choice of a wide selection of beautiful younger girls without kids.

There I was, a 33 year old stay-at-home mom trying to find the man of my dreams, while stuck in my dumpy apartment all day. Since I wasn't working outside the home, the only places I frequented on a regular basis were the park, and the grocery store. How many single guys hang out at the park? And how many guys at the supermarket would hit on a chic with 2 two-year-olds??? And if he did, wouldn't that instantly mark him as insane and/or desperate?

I was in a predicament, how was I going to find Mr. right? What were my options? I knew that Heavenly Father was watching out for me and that if I had faith he could find me someone wonderful, but I also knew that I had to do my part. I had heard a little about online dating, but had labeled it my "last resort". Feeling pretty hopeless in my situation, not knowing where else to turn, my last resort became my only viable option, and wow was it an eye-opening experience.

Online dating is an entity unto itself. You have to experience it to truly understand. At first you might feel a little giddy about the prospects. You create a "handle," upload pictures, and write all about yourself, in an attempt to attract your "perfect match." Then you send your profile out into the world of singles and watch the system work it's magic. I could go on and on about the crazy online dating experiences I've had, but I'll save that for another time...I'll just say, it would make an extremely funny sitcom!

My second go-around I found that online dating wasn't actually my only option. I got some advice from a veteran in the singles community, and got involved. I was soon playing volleyball with other singles, going to parties, dances, and firesides. I was welcomed in with open arms, and really enjoyed getting to know others who were in my same predicament. I felt like I had found a family who completely understood where I was coming from and where I hoped to eventually be. I was meeting great people, but was feeling very underwhelmed by the guys I was meeting. There really wasn't anyone even in the same ballpark as what I was looking for. But I committed to continue to put myself in positions where I would have the opportunity to meet someone, and continued praying and having faith that God would provide. I think that's the key...do all you can do, and He will do the rest.

Limitations

After my sprint-triathlon in the spring I decided my next challenge would be to run a 1/2 marathon. I had always told myself that I could never be a long-distance runner. That I just wasn't made for endurance running. I had put a limitation on myself that I wanted to challenge. So, I picked a race, the Top of Utah Half-Marathon, registered and started training. I invited my friend Amber to do it with me and she agreed. Training was going well, but due to other events in my life, I realized that I was going to have a scheduling conflict that day. So, about a week ago Amber and I decided we would run the course together before the actual race. We agreed that yesterday would work best for both of us.

My training recommended that I get in one final long run a week before the race and then taper down. So last Monday I ran 10 miles. It was the worst run of my life. I have always had a little pain in my IT band, but that night, for whatever reason, my left knee wasn't cooperating at all. At about mile 5 I was in serious pain, but I wouldn't allow myself to stop, I wanted to run the full 10 miles. I pushed through the pain, and about the last mile and a half I was nearly in tears. It was excruciatingly painful. I hardly slept at all that night, and even a few days later my knee was still hurting. I decided to go back out on Thursday for a short run, but after a mile I had to walk. I didn't think there was any way I would be able to run the half-marathon the next Monday. I decided I would just rest it and give it my all on "race day."

Well, Monday came and I hardly slept at all the night before. I probably got about 2 hours of sleep. I got up at 5:30 to meet Amber at 6:00, but on the way to meet her I got pulled over for speeding. Luckily I got off without a ticket. Then we drove up to Providence, just outside of Logan, and made our way to the starting line, and started running. Things were okay for about the first mile, but then the pain started. I had talked to a physical therapist a few days before, who had recommended stretching my IT band more, so at mile 2 I decided to stop and stretch it, to see if that would help. It did, for about a half mile, but then the pain came back, so I stopped at mile 3 and stretched it again. At that point I didn't think there was any way I would be able to finish all 13.1 miles. But that became my pattern. I would run a mile, then stop to stretch for one minute, and commit to another mile of agony. I was making good time while I was running, about a 9 minute mile, so with the minute of stretching each mile, I was still on track to meet my goal of finishing under 2:10. It was definitely an exercise of mind over matter. By mile 11 I was still on track to make my goal. That's when things went from bad to worse. I took a wrong turn somewhere. When we started going through a neighborhood I realized I hadn't payed very good attention to the map. I was lost. I just kept running. I ended up taking three wrong turns, and adding over a mile to the race before I finally stopped and asked a nice woman for directions. I ended up finishing in 2:24. I must have ran closer to 14.5 miles.

My first thought was, I need a redo! On a good day,without knee pain, or the extra detour, I bet I could have run it in close to 2 hours. After thinking about it a little more, I changed my mind. I'm glad I did it, but I should just cross it off the list, and know that my self-imposed limitation no longer exists. Once again I believe, more strongly than ever, that I can do anything I put my mind to. As long as I am willing to put forth the effort, there is pretty much nothing I can't accomplish.

Enough is Enough

Poor Alyssa! If it isn't one thing, it's another. Earlier in her young life Alyssa had to deal with ear infection after ear infection. On one occasion, when she was very little, I held her in my arms the entire night. Each time she fell asleep I tried to lay her down next to me, so I could get some rest, and she would wake up instantly crying. It was obviously very painful for her. We had tubes put in her ears and she did better for a while, but soon the tubes fell out and things got worse again. After another set of tubes, and the removal of her adenoids, things improved. This past year we have gone from ear infections to strep throat. In the past 4 months alone she's had strep 4 times. Enough is enough, we finally decided to have her tonsils removed, so on Friday Alyssa had a tonsillectomy. Hopefully she will finally be able to go more than a month without having to see the doctor! One thing we have noticed is that she is sleeping much more soundly. She doesn't snore anymore, and doesn't toss and turn all night long. I used to say she slept like Taz, the tasmanian devil, but not anymore!